It's a bacchanal! Call me Joey. Call me Donny. Call me any of Kool Keith's 58 aliases, except Exotron Geiger Counter One Plus Megatron, unless, of course, you want this to end prematurely. Speaking of, if HEAVEN SENT were to ever get a vinyl release, (I would cop and) it should have one of those Funky Ass Records center labels—you know the ones. While we're on the subject of ifs and/or butt, if Cardi B had ghostwritten "Swimming Pool (Drank)," it'd share thematic ground with HEAVEN SENT. Sexy drill is a pornocore renaissance akin to HBO Late Night with Oscar-worthy writing and full penetration. If you don't love it, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe try one of those gas station pills.


DJ Surrup & Makeda Iroquois - Demo (Chopped Not Slopped)

It's been nearly seven years since #BarcelonaBrazy3 dropped. Though long gone from the internet, the genre-defying mixtape has stayed in heavy rotation 'round here. Oh, you don't rip streams so you can return to them long past their DMCA-allotted shelf life? That's wild to me. It's been almost three years since Zero Klique songstress Makeda Iroquois released her Demo album and over two since DJ Surrup gave it his Chopped Not Slopped treatment. You could say we slept 'round here. But then, you might also say all time begins and ends with zeroes — what goes around comes around like. 


Kai Fortyfive - Dinner at Lonely's

The sun is an 865,000-mile ball of gas 93 million miles away from the Earth. The moon is a 2,159.2-mile ball of rocks 238,900 miles away from the Earth. It just so happens that our moon is one 400th of the size of the sun and one 400th as far away from us. This is essentially the definition of a cosmic coincidence, true for no other no other planet's moon(s) across the solar system. Try telling all that to the average human walking the Earth 400 years ago. In 2024, doomsday prophecy still makes for an easier sell than math and science. As for me, I'm just thinking back on Stop 20 solo visits—late night burgers and early morning Benedicts, with only the Criterion Channel for companionship.


Chuck D on the struggles of Black and American Indian peoples, mixed with commentary from a renowned Indigenous Canadian writer, soundtracked by an international dub outfit, later remixed by Mad Professor

Sometimes, the title says it all. Sometimes, it says a lot and there's still more. 

In 1988, a man named Pat Andrade produced and put out a cassette titled The Secret War Against The Black Panthers And The Indian Movement In America. It was one of the first releases on Maya Music Group, an independent label based in Canada, founded by Andrade and the Spirit Voice aboriginal radio collective. Andrade himself is Canadian-Jamaican, but had enjoyed a formative stay on the Havasupai Indian Reservation in Arizona. The music of The Secret War is dub-reggae, performed primarily by a group called the Neo-Mafia (likely this Neo Mafia), with drums recorded in Budapest, Hungary, and guitar and harp in Ottawa, Canada. The vocals are spoken word from Indigenous authors Lee Maracle and Ward Churchill and yes, Chuck D. Where his vocals come from is unclear, but the record label's radio origins suggest it might've been an on-air interview. (Indeed, one might be tempted to take all this a step further, drawing some interesting parallels between Chuck D and Pat Andrade's broadcast origins.) At any rate, Maracle and Chuck D's voices appear together over two Neo-Mafia tracks on this release. However, only one, "Are You Comfortable," appears to be floating around the internet. And in fact, the version that's out there is taken from another Maya Music Group tape, 1989's Your Silence Will Not Protect You Volume 1. In 1991, "Are You Comfortable" is remixed by dub great Mad Professor, given the much more revealing title "At Least American Indian People Know Exactly How They've Been Fucked Around," and released on a 12" of the same name. Both tracks appear below.


That's all I've got. For more about Andrade and Maya Music Group, check out "Radical Rhythms: 'Dancing on John Wayne's Head'" from the September-October 1995 issue of Against the Current.  


BAIBEEBEAN - "Dream" / "Safe & Sound"

Sports bar physicists double down on IQ-genics like the guy who runs that other Long Island rap site isn't illiterate. How's that for Double Negative?

Then again, if I'd said "is literate" instead, cornhole league mathematicians might've come around screaming about an anagram for Israelite.

What did Wesley tell Woody? You can have a view of me, but you can't see me.

The view looks something like this, like Wednesday night at McMurphy's after too many $4 Millers and ¢25 wings. If only the library would stay open so late.

Roc Marciano - Marciology

Less than seven months ago, John Caramanica authored an article titled, "Sean Combs Doesn't Need to Ask Anyone for Anything." Talk about aging horribly. 

While some may have been shocked to learn of the latest allegations against the artist who recently changed his middle name to Love, one Long Island Rap Records source was not. "Remember when he mentally tortured people on national television, and everybody was like, 'Oh, he just knows what it takes to make it in music, he's just making DA BAND," recalled the source. That reminded us of the time Combs turned a song about stalking a woman into an ode to his dead employee. And, of course, who can forget how he tarnished both of said employee's only two studio albums by saying "Uh-huh, yeah" and "Take that, take that, take that" on every song therein? 

To be fair, Caramanica is at least half-right insofar as he did write, "Combs Doesn't [...] Ask Anyone for Anything." And as far as mankind's oldest profession goes, even Robert DeNiro was once questioned in connection with a French prostitution ring. Of course, contrary to what internet conspiracy theorists would have you believe, he was never charged. DHS hasn't raided his Tribeca penthouse. 

The moral of the story? If you're going to engage in sex trafficking, at least check everyone's ID at the door. Leave all grooming to Merrick Road's pet pampering sector. And avoid incorporating reality-bending psychedelics into the mix. Toad venom and all-ages parties a happy marriage don't make.