Mossy Oak Centurion - Music for the Rebellion Against Big Tech and Transhumanism

Why shouldn't humanity get transcended? To think this is the be-all and end-all platonic ideal of intelligent life is a prime example of how not that it is. Not intelligent, not ideal, not the be-all end-all: take your pick. That being typed, we flesh bags have much organic evolving to do before we make it to "San Junipero," and I don't mean figuring out how to live to 150 so we can buy more things for longer; I mean getting more empathetic. After all, empathy is an evolved trait. Now, when it comes to seizing the means of production from the current batch of tech-bro-crat tycoons and trying their worst for crimes against humanity, that's another story. Our future cybernetic counterparts would agree.

Shape - Midnight Geometry

"As long as I've been back and forth from Jerse to Long Island, I can get a crowd response equal to 'South Bronx'" — Tame One, "Detox the Ghetto"

And in the latest chapter of the New Jersey-Long Island cultural exchange program, we bring you Midnight Geometry, the new producer album from Ian "Shape" Morrison. A lazy writer fishing for an easy hook could do worse than pitch the Karma Kids-Smokers Cough sixth borough circuit featured here as the epicenter of outsider rap (and as a lazy writer, you might even work an Outsidaz pun in there somehow). I, on the other hand, will simply point out that the Karma crew has been on quite the pandemic-era album run these past few years such that Midnight Geometry had me revisiting Teddy Brown Brown for the umpteenth time on the ride home this evening and now I'm about to run back Tap on the Glass. Peace to C$Burns for making everything sound right. Peace to Yung Daddy for outrapping all her peers.

Big Breakfast - BEACHBOY (mega bastard mix)

Just in time for summer, the sky's on fire! When NY said "all the smoke," this is not what it had in mind. Penelope's deviated septum and spotted eye do not approve. Holly's holding it down, though. Speaking of Mastic mammals, Mikey Breakfast is back to the BEACHBOY, having "kissed Alicia Keys six weeks before her and Swizz Beatz conceived (that's true)." It's like a ritual to lift the smog and fertilize the mosh (not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday to get a fucking blowjob ... don't laugh, this ain't reality TV).

Kush Blank - Walking LLC

The farther east, the fewer the sidewalks, the closer the sands, real ones or deposits become real, oceanic countersprawl, low-tide phonk, high-tide subterranea. No waterworks, the waters rise, reclaiming mansions and making beachfronts of bungalows. Pocketbooks overflow, pharmacological and/or horticultural. SpongeBob: the whole operation's underwater. The fisherman comes back for revenge, visiting Jason Vorhees hockey penalties on retro-dandy price gougers, high sticking, slashing. New Zealand harbor mates communicate via whale calls and dolphin carrier bottle messages. "I get my powers from the water."

Kush Blank - "Talk to em Kush"

Goofy dads stash Delta 9 gummies in a Ziploc of non-cannabinoid gummies, thinking they're slick until that faithful phone call comes. Your wife's livid. Your daughter's in intensive care after accidentally ingesting 96 of them. 

"Ninety-six?!" (Talk to 'em, Kush.) 

The pack came with 100. The good news: it isn't brain damage. She'll be OK, eventually. They just need to work their way through her system. (This is the sound of that happening, the face-melt behind her eyelids.) 

And you should still have four left. 

Big Breakfast - "Hitachi Nail Gun"

"Whole neighborhood locked down, they let it rock now / When I moved to Philly it was looking like Moscow / 2020 took DOOM and took Pop out / '21 Glee Club taking your whole block out." Brecky's in a new city with a new crew and some banging new music to show for it. Coincidentally I just rewatched the Wire episode where Snoop buys the powder actuated nail gun. "Man said if you want to shoot nails, this here's the Cadillac, man. He meant Lexus but he ain't know it." But I digress. If you missed Glee Club Volume 1, head over to the Hardware Barn and get schooled.

Big Breakfast - Mikey

Big Breakfast's "debut album," Mikey, is also one of his most lo-fi albums to date, as it was recorded in his parents' house in Mastic, at least partially amid the COVID-19 lockdown. On the topic, track one, "Lush," includes these lines: "I used to bring hoes to Commack Motor Inn / And now life is so damn sobering, I'm over it / Postpone the funeral, corona got me more alone than usual / At least every song I wrote was beautiful." Say word. And let's be clear, by "lo-fi," i don't mean minimal; I mean roughly mixed and unmastered. But so it goes. Thankfully, Brekkie did not slack in the least on the beats or the rhymes — quite the opposite. He's rapping like he's trying to squeeze the most fun and life out of every line he writes, and his beats bang like he's trying to turn his drum machine into an orchestra of drum machines. Word is Big Breakfast is moving to Philly, which means the second dopest city in the nation is about to get that much doper.

Big Breakfast - "Magnolia"

"Your favorite blog maybe not gonna cover it / But this shit Long Island Rap arc of the covenant." Aw, you shouldn't have. "Catch the kid getting fresh like a peppermint / The only white LI rapper you should be messing with." Shots fired! Also, nah but go ahead. "When I'm in Mastic Beach I'm like the president / You should get my ass impeached like the president / I'm getting cash at least like the president / But I don't have to scam or cheat or embezzle it." 👾

Big Breakfast - "Sade Joint" & AMH Show

Big Breakfast will be performing live at Amityville Music Hall, Friday, February 24, with support from Karma Kids and co.

Just a few hours ago, he shined the first light on his next tape, rapping:

"Rappers yapping about the latest Baco's soy beef substitute / Boy what's up with you? / Put the tool to your noodle like a cup of soup / I'm a fool when I doodle with the number two pencil / You just doodle like a number two, mental / But maintain my cucumber cool / Got my hand on my balls like bumper pool."

Bars below...

Big Breakfast - "World Industries"

"World Industries" buffers to a drop then grows increasingly rewindable. Ringtones drops May 13 on Smokers Cough.

Big Breakfast - "Sambuca / 7-Train"

The 2nd leak off Ringtones, coming in April 2016.

Big Breakfast - "Hit Single"

"Out in Montauk eating a lobster roll ... Neck snapper, Santa Ana to Patchogue ... Breakfast, Mastic's most precious all day." Big Breakfast's "Hit Single" appears on the Smokers Cough 2015 Sampler, which you can stream below the video and download free or cop on CD for just $3 via the label's Bandcamp.

Big Breakfast - "Dominoes"

Big Breakfast might currently reside in Queens County, but the kid is clearly Long Island in all the right/wrong ways (depending on where you're from and how you feel about that place). Brash, nasal and ambiguously financially (in)secure, the self-proclaimed "Mastic bastard" reps bad booze and worse pizza on "Dominoes," the lead single off his Smokers Cough LP Luxury. Stream both below.